The Ether

There's so much mugginess in the city. I've been studying a lot lately. What else could be out there beyond the border of our world. Seems the ether surrounds us. I believe that's what I felt in the city. The suffocating dread. I think it's the tainted ether on the border of our world within the city. The veil is so thin.
The objects I thought were simply a manifested dream seem ethereal. The hazy substance between worlds. Does that mean dream is the basis of all creation? I really don't know. All this seems new to me, but I feel like I'm guided in a certain direction. Whatever is close to our world may itself be within the ether. I should be careful. I need to find out more. I think I'm a little obsessive now because of the frightening dreams and not having a weapon I can hide in the lab with. I just keep myself preoccupied. I'm just so restless because I'm dreading the next message or vision. I can't control when I have them. I feel powerless in a way. I don't want to show the others how scared I really am.

Studies

I've made Scholar within the Institute in a short amount of time. Now I have more responsibilities to take care of, but I'm glad to help however I can. The others have been kind to me and the least I can do is set a good example. I've been studying the occult ever since the library opened up the lab to me. Strange how a place itself can be alive. The dreamlands. I've been trying to discover another way into them as well. Grr has his mirror. Grumpy can do it whenever. I think I'm better at magic than alchemy and potions, but I've not has as much experience as Joah. Still I haven't been able to get back into them except when I'm asleep. Though my childhood ability to copy things has resurfaced slightly and is has been really interesting in my experiments. I haven't been able to go into dreams, but I've accidentally manifested a few smaller dreamlike items. They don't last very long so I don't know how useful it'll be.

Warnings and the Dark

I've been here in Toxian City for a while now. It's really a strange place , and clues seem to come more frequently about what is to come. Something dark and ancient is trying to claw its way into our world. I don't always know what goes on when the messenger takes over. I've only to hear the cryptic messages from the ones she tells. Going to the dream lands, and that night of off circumstances seems to have made the messengers incarnation more pronounced. I can feel a power within me not my own. I can tell.. even a strange entity like that can feel fear.

Severus did help me to understand a little more who this messenger is. One of the names I heard in my dreams was Morrigan. I read about this goddess. Sometimes she is singular, sometimes she has three aspects. Though it's known that she used to take the form of a raven and loom over battlefields. It might be why Raven has such a strong connection to her. Both watch over the dead. Only that bird didn't bother to tell me untill I had enough clues to realize something more was going on. I'm touched by death, or so some say. I don't know if I should be afraid about that or not. I know whatever is coming to this city, I'm going to know, and even if I'm scared I feel I'm not going to be one of the lucky ones that flees the city while they have the chance.

I never asked to be this, maybe I was already chosen before. I'm still scared of knowing what kind of thing even a god could fear. I don't like to think about it.

Joah has even had several dreams and then there are the strange twins that were seen. Whatever is happening is already taking place.