Life, Death, and the Beyond

There's so much that has happened, so much I couldn't prevent. Some of it's still a bit foggy. The dreams became so bad, and my worst fears became reality. Denny and Delrith tried to find out just what was wrong and in that moment the Devourer took over.
I was lost for days on end, fighting for control as I watched in horror how this creature stalked countless people reducing them to lifeless dust. Every moment I wish I could forget.. I remember vividly. I tried so hard to wrest control from the creature, keeping several of it's attacks from being as severe as they could have been. It's little comfort for those that I couldn't prevent. I've hurt my friends and family, emotionally and physically, but I remember each of them pulling together to try and free me.
Things only got worse before they got better. In the peril of this entity from beyond, a new threat emerged. From what I gather now, servants of things known as Dagon and Cthulhu have brought a war with eachother into our world. The Devourer grew interested in these other creatures, believing that they would fulfill what it had started one moment, and cursing their intrusion the next. It grew more dangerous and self destructive in the end.
The worst came when the Devourer kept it's promise, and slew one of my dearest friends. It believed it would become more powerful slaying Suyuan and the goddess Meng Po, whom she was a part of. I couldn't stop it, no matter how hard I tried. I wish Mei had killed me then, when she attacked me. For everything I couldn't stop. The Devourer crucified her daughter and laughed. And she did all she could to destroy the creature, but it only hurt me. Even that was part of it's wicked plan.
I think the creature thought it was finally strong enough to enter the library where it never would go, and there it met Denny who had recovered. He grew incredibly strong. I'd never seen him that way before. Even now I'll never think of him the same way. He has my deepest thanks for finally freeing me from that creature. I felt him as he ripped the darkness away, in the moment I was passing through the tunnel of light, he pulled me back. The Devourer is gone, though I know not where and those it kept free.
I've been hesitant to go too far from the library, after seeing all the damage it did and the people I hurt because of it. I thought I had seen a ghost when she came to me, but it wasn't. Suyuan was really there. She told me Denny had pulled her back from the grave as well. I couldn't believe it. I was afraid I would wake, but I was so happy to see her again. I had no idea why she really had come.
Suyuan returned only for a short while, and I watched her die a second time... My dear friend. The wish of her and the goddess was to protect the other of Raven's chosen, and so to fulfill that promise the essence of the goddess transfered from her, and now sleeps in me. But the price was never what I would have wanted. As she died to do so. I never wanted this. Not the burden of another power, and not at the cost of a friend. But perhaps.. with the goddess as a shield, I'll be free of being influence by other dire things, and I think she wanted that for me.
I asked why all this has to happen to me, and Grr replied that I had an innocent heart. I'm not sure if I understand. I have carried powers far greater than myself and now moreso. I'm not sure if I'm responsible enough for such a burden, or why someone like me would be chosen. It's overwhelming. I came to this city with only the things on my back and a wonder where my next meal would be. Now, I sit by the fire remembering visions of things that have passed, the creatures I've channeled, the friends I've lost, and now that goddess who sleeps in the depths of my soul.
Was this part of Raven's plan for me all along? A broken dhampir girl made the messenger, a valkyrie. And now to thwart the curse I had been born with, I had to lose someone close to me.. I understand the life your mother always wanted for you now Suyuan. Free to live it as you chose. Free of higher powers who would use you. I'll never know what it's like, but I hope you can rest now, and maybe if you're ever reborn you'll have the life you truly deserved.