Journal 11/28/08
I can't keep track of the days that have gone by already since the Tohu va Bohu became the horsemen and took our family away from us. The are others left. I can't let myself come undone until they're safe. Zoe, Rhaven and Wire have helped me so far. I'm afraid, but they give me the strength to keep going. Dryl's even following where I go. I can't speak. My voice is gone and I've not had any visions lately. The Coven have taken us in under these strange circumstances. Somehow we've also managed to be on beneficial terms with both the Righteous and the Shadows regarding the horsemen. We've still got a lot of work together, but we're doing the best we can. I accept all the conciquences for leading where there is no leader. We in turn are not withholding any information regarding this matter. I believe this threat affects the city as a whole and not just our house. We are weak apart, but together we may be able to survive. We'll be the mediators, the middlemen if need be. No one else has stepped forward to secure our survival, so I take that responsibility myself until someone better suited comes along. I couldn't do this alone, but what little family we have left is becoming closer. They believe in me even when I doubt myself, so I do this for them. I will protect them nomatter what the cost. I left a message with the spirit of the library, and it's already found it's way to some of our strays.
I miss them. I miss Joah and Grr. Lady Omega. They gave me a home, a family. I've lost another family, but no. I wont lose any more. I can't. They'd have wanted me to protect the others. I hope. Can I really do this? Am I still an Omegan? After all they've taught me, is this the best I can do? No, I can't keep thinking like this. I'm so nervous I feel sick, but I believe I have to do this. Even if our house falls, I'll make sure we live. Will things ever be the same again? Will I have to do the unthinkable? No, I can't think that. I couldn't live with myself. This is so much. Please. Please give them back..
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Faye'Li presses her hand to her forehead, the hours of research yielding nothing. As she rests her head on the Library table and closes her eyes, a book slowly opens beside her, pages rustling....
The day is past and gone,
The evening Shades appear;
Oh may we all remember well,
The night of Death is near.
We lay our garments by
Upon our beds to rest:
So Death will soon disrobe us all,
Of what we here posses.
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