Atonement

I'm still surprised to this day how fast I became a praetor, though in my actions I never had any intention to. I simply knew I couldn't let things be as they were so I took action. I thought to myself if I placed all the burden, taking responsibility for the actions of all those I'd put myself in charge of, then maybe only one person would be punished when it was all over. I still can't believe I did it, or that the others actually followed me and encouraged me to lead them. I couldn't have done anything without their support.

I'm not a very strong person and I have a few issues myself so I really don't know how I managed to rally anyone, but things happened. We fended for ourselves and remained Omegans despite all the trouble. I thought on occasion as I saw what had become of us, that I couldn't trust our leaders when this was all said and done. I'd committed myself to leaving once I knew my peers were safe, but they really didn't want me to go. I'm not sure why I still stayed, it could be a few reasons. My guilt for hurting Grr trying to subdue him; My distrust of anyone else protecting my peers besides me myself; My own fear of being alone; I really don't know. Maybe it's for the best I don't see them as infallible any more. I wont be bullied and I'll go my own way if it ever comes to it, but they're my family now, no matter how dysfunctional.

I didn't spend all that time without learning a few things of my own and making a few valuable associates. Things are set in motion and I feel a little better knowing that there are true heroes in the city, even if I can't be one myself, I'll know there are people that can do things I can't do as an Omegan. And there are things I can only do as one. Then I can rest easier at night knowing I'm not sitting on my hands watching this cursed little city destroy itself. This is part of my atonement.